Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Temptation of Mom

9 comments:

Mom101 said...

The truth is, I would hope that I'd respect the lock, unless I thought she was hitting the crack pipe, and that my need to know trumped her right to privacy.

If I were to sneak a peak and found only benign content, I would hate myself so much afterwards, that I would wish for a time machine so that I could go back a few hours and undo it all and never ever know how much she has a crush on Steve Tannen and wants to make out with him, or how much she thinks that Mrs Hooper is an old meanie who hates her more than anyone else in social studies.

Suburban Turmoil said...

Well, I read everything. I just do. It's why I was a reporter. I'm insanely curious. I even found and read my mom's old diaries when I was a kid. Today, I read journals, notes from friends and My Space pages. I want to know what's going on- and I do.

I do feel guilty, a little, but it is topped by knowing what's on my kids' minds. Many times, I've found that actually up to LESS than I thought, which has been a relief. And I am very careful- They have no idea that I read their stuff. I'm not advocating reading or not reading, I'm just being honest.

Suburban Turmoil said...

they are up to LESS, not "that" up to LESS. ack.

Busy Mom said...

I'm a reader, too, for many of the same reasons as Lucinda. It's part of our (mine and Busy Gir's) deal with her web page and her e-mail. As for a diary, I check it occasionally, but, it's not locked.

Wendy Boucher said...

I'm really interested in all your replies. I can't make out my own heart's desire. A HUGE part of me believes that her secrets are hers alone. Like mom101, I would hate myself to open it up just to read about how much she loves worms.

But it's easy to feel that way when she is seven. She may have more dangerous secrets one day and I would want to know about them. It's that protective urge. Besides, I'm a hugely curious person. It's a real tug-o-war going on here.

liberalbanana said...

Wendy, if my future dogs had journals I would be calling Oprah.

I feel the same way as mom101. I think she's got it right on the money. You don't suspect that your daughter has started to use drugs or have sex, right? (HA. She's so young, so I'm obviously kidding that she would be doing that stuff!) So I'd just stay out of it. Think of how she would react if she found out that you'd peeked.

Jess Riley said...

Such an interesting question! Unless you have reason to suspect some dangerous or unhealthy behavior, I'd let it be. Once, in high school, I read my little sister's diary. (She's 10 years my junior.) I stopped reading at the part where she'd written, "Jess thinks she knows EVERYTHING!"

LOL--I learned my lesson.

LawNut said...

From the time I was in second grade until I was in high school, I kept a diary. Writing was always a passion of mine. One day my freshman year of high school, I found my mom reading my diary. I felt so violated and invaded that I never, ever wrote in a diary again. To this day, I will not keep a diary.

The point of my story is that my mom's curiosity about my actually very benign behavior discouraged me from writing in a diary. So, my vote is to not read Girlie's diary now or ever, even if it's out in the open. If you maintain a good relationship with her, you will know if there is anything to worry about; and if there does not appear to be anything to worry about, most likely what is in the diary is the same life experiences we had as kids/teenagers that didn't lead to our ruin. Most importantly, she'll know that she has your respect.

Rory said...

I say read it! I would read D's. Or yours...Or anyone else's I found... All joking aside, there was an article in a parenting magazine that covered the same debate, and the consensus was read it. The article was talking about older kids' diaries, but I think it's okay to want to know if your child isn't feeling well or is having problems at school that they aren't telling you about. I think it is what you do with the info that could be a problem, ie: use it against them, whatevs. In my house, it is a momocracy, not a democracy!